As religious Canadians find new and creative ways to worship in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, atheists across Canada are questioning the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
According to the Charter, Canadians have a right to worship freely without persecution.
However, according to dozens of basement-dwelling atheists, this right should not exist.
“As I posted in r/atheism on reddit numerous times, god does not exist and therefore the right to worship freely is a totally bad idea. Those people who have a moral compass and attend church every week are total sheeple,” Gord said – insisting that we do not capitalize the G in ‘God’.
Some atheists we interviewed believed religious people were holding back society.
“It’s incredible that even in our time, people still believe in something as absurd as a thing called ‘god’. I, as a militant atheist and women’s rights activist, hate to see that our modern world is being held back and mutilated by these pests,” Richard said while cleaning his fedora.
“Only a world free of religious suppression can ascend to the next level. Only superior human beings such as I, should be permitted to exist and expand the human genetic pool,” concluded Richard, immediately before stuffing his zit-riddled face with another fistfull of Flamin’ Hot Doritos.
Interviews with many of the atheists were cut short as many of their moms abruptly ended the interviews as it was time for dinner.