We wish we were making this stuff up. Unfortunately, this is Justin Trudeau’s Canada.
“Because Stone Cold said so!” Ford said when asked why he was refusing to listen public health officials.
The Screaming Goose caught up with one “Ottawan” (what the hell is that?) to figure out why he voluntarily chooses to live in Ottawa.
“Oh great! Another Trump fanboy. This alt-right extremist thinks he deserves a cracker. No, not on my watch. You can’t just want a cracker - you have to earn it,” Vaughan tweeted.
Interviews with many of the atheists were cut short as many of their moms abruptly ended the interviews as it was time for dinner.
“He’s not the hero Manitoba deserves, but the hero we need,” Dr. Roussin said.
The People’s Government of Manitoba warns more public executions will come if COVID-19 cases continue to increase.
“What the hell is this?” Christine Parker who resides in the riding of Toronto Centre asked, referring to the province of Alberta.
“How’s the coronavirus going to find us if we don’t exist?” the Premier said.
Buckle in for the long haul, folks.